Slow your roll (Dawn)

Karma is a bitch.
Rybka always complains about so and so slowrolling him. There was a month last year or maybe this year, where if it was Thursday, he was crying in his soup about someone slowrolling him on Wednesday.
I would shrug my shoulders and say "eh...it's a home game, guy...chill." Or some other equally I-don't-really-care-but-should-probably-say-something-now response.
And actually, one of the crazier incidents with Punky Brewster also involved his complaint that he was slowrolled.
"Bah humbug, I would say ---no big deal. Probably wasn't intentional... chill."
Well, that was all fine and good when it wasn't me getting slowrolled. Cause wow, suddenly, I care. And I am not chill. And the number one rule in the Crackhouse is anyone who slowrolls gets bitten in the neck by Jack Bauer until they are dead.
DEAD.
So, here's the situation.
In middle position, I limp with 4c5c, by the time it reaches the BB, everyone has called -- so the pot has .25 * 11 in it.
BB then raises it by a dollar. Once again, by the time it gets to me, everyone has called, so I do too.
Only the SB folds and now the pot is .25 * 11 + 1.00*10 (ooh...wait...I can do that one! Ten dollars! So's your face.)
Anyhoo.
Flop comes 2s Qc 3d.
BB bets 2.00, there is one caller and I call and everyone else folds.
Three see a turn of 6s.
Dawn has the nizzuts.
Original bettor bets $4, I raise to $10. He calls.
River is a 2c. (FYMF) Bettor bets $6. I raise all-in, he calls.
I immediately say "I have a straight."
He looks at his cards and nods his head.
I push my cards to the muck, start stacking the chips, Michaelangelo starts and finishes chiseling The David, Britney Spears gets knocked up and delivers another baby, America has another presidential election AND finishes counting all the votes in Florida and Ohio and then this guy says...
"I have a boat." And turns over pocket Queens.
What. The. Fuck.?
Now, it's my house and I have been raised to be a good host and a pleasant young lady...but I will confess that all manner of foul mouthed language whirled through my head as I flicked all my chips to him, without even bothering to count them to see if I had him covered.
Rybka tells me I did, and gives me back some chips.
But for the fact that he now had all my money, I wanted to throw him out of my house.
Rybka, who was sitting next to me, smiles. I glared at him silently.
"Man, there's no funny line that I can repeat to you over and over again to remind you of this," he says starting to laugh.
Grrr.
I have 1.25 left.
"I know how much the next hand is going to cost," he adds.
And sure enough...I am all-in with my next two cards. I win and quadruple up.
The very next hand after that one, I flop a straight with QJ and triple up through the slowroller...who keeps saying stuff like "well, I'll give you back some of your money," as he calls into my nuts on every street.
All I kept thinking was, if he knows what's good for him, he will stop talking to me right now. (You know, Dawn's anger management problem and all that.)
My stack gets healthy again and then F-train arrives with Chugarte.
"YAY! F-train is here!"
He was off doing something or another and so he was like four hours late to the game. And sad as it is to admit, I actually missed his smartass comments so much that I was doing the weekly "where are we stuck, Dawn"/ "oh, on me?" routine all by myself through the night.
Sad.
Of course, he stacks me and my newly healthy chips on his first hand.
I raise to three dollars with 99 and five people call.
Flop comes Q J T.
I move all-in for 9.50. Rybka INSTA calls, F-train moves allin over the top for $17 and Rybka calls that too.
How I am known as the calling station in that game, I will never know!
F-train has AK.
I cry.
"No! I was supposed to take your stack! YOUR STACK!"
Rybka stacks me on the next hand when he calls my FIVE dollar preflop raise with J8 to crack my tens.
You bluff a guy with J3 one time and jeez he never lets you forget it.
I'm not on tilt or anything, but with my next hand I move all-in for twenty dollars with TT and get called by this kid holding KQ!!
I double up!
Yay.
F-train stacks Rybka when he flops another straight with AQ and is now incredible monster stack after being at the table for only twenty minutes.
(It's funny cause in the past couple of weeks, he has been blowing through like four buy-ins and then on his fifth, at around midnight, he just starts running the tables and netting liek crazy hundred dollar profits...so, last night, it's like he skipped the blowing through four buy-ins portion of the evening and went straight for the clean us out portion of his play.)
I managed to get some of it back from him, when I raised to two dollars with pocket jacks and got four callers. Teh flop was J 4 4, I made a weak ass pot sized bet -- as is my way and F-train thinks and thinks and thinks for a super long time and calls.
There are two clubs out there, so I put him on a club draw and hope for it to hit on the turn.
It doesn't.
I bet $12 (leaving me six dollars behind and I cross my fingers that senor big stacks puts me all-in) instead, he says to Mary "I know she has nothing...if I hit a pair there, I move all-in..." And then he folds. And Dawn is sad.
I do laugh when later he says "I know you had nothing!"
Heh.
Oh and then there is this hand where Chugarte raises to $3, F-train calls.
The flop comes K 5 6 - two spades.
Chugarte bets $4 and F-train raises him to $12.
Chugarte thinks and then folds queens face up!
I laugh at him and say "Hah! You know F-train was betting his spade draw!" There may have been pointing.
And then F-train turns over POCKET ACES!
So's my face.
I put Chugarte back in the box.
I'm not worthy.
Wow.
F-train makes a severe misstep against my co-blogger in one of the last hands of the night.
Karol raises and four ppl call.
The flop is all baby hearts - something like 4h 7h 6h. Karol bets $5 and F-train calls.
Turn is a Qs and she bets $10. F-train raises her to $30.00. She thinks for a looong time and then moves in for 21.00 more.
I figure that she flopped the flush.
F-train does too because he folds and says "show me your flush."
Instead, she shows top set.
F-train doesn't show, but Rybka says he folded the straight.
"Man, I just gave away fifty dollars," F-train says glumly.
"Yeah, and not even to me." I add glumly.
He gives me the finger, as is his way.
Oh well. I finished the night up $6. Which, since I have been getting killed at the Crackhouse lately, we'll call Win Gow!
Now...I've just got to find a bowl in which to store the blood of the next person who slowrolls at my game.