Remember the Crackhouse (Dawn)
“And you thought the Crackhouse would die.” -F-train or Alceste
I’m not going to lie to you. I thought the Crackhouse was dead. The frigid New York Winter, plus the random life issues that crop up have lead to decreasing attendance.
And hey, maybe it is. But wow was the body twitching up a storm last night.
Once again, we had the SoxLover return for our .25/.25 NLHE game, which means a bunch of things, but the most important is that F-train spends the night conflicted about who he hates more.
“Dawn stacked me before you got here,” Sox Lover whined when F-train arrived.
As he does instinctively upon hearing that Dawn won chips, F-train booed.
And then he stopped: “Wait…you lost, though…hmm…but Dawn won…but YOU lost…but SHE won…I don’t know what to do!” and then he grabbed his head and began to sob uncontrollably.
Question? Answer.
But wait, I’m getting a little ahead of myself and no way am I skipping the details of stacking Soxlover.
Due to an email typo, the maximum buy-in for last night’s game was $25. But I felt badly for the regulars, so I committed to buying for $20 regardless.
None of the regulars, except for Phantom followed suit.
Doh.
I gave Mary $4 on my first hand after violating my two of my stack protecting rules. To wit: Don’t call raises out of position and Don’t call raises from Mary.
I flopped the magical straight flush draw and chased my way down to sad stack.
I then gave Mrs. Soxlover $8 or so when I flopped an open ender, then turned a flush draw. Chase, chase…flush.
With my last eight dollars, I raised with Le Dawn of hearts and called then violated a cardinal rule of the hand by calling a reraise from Phantom.
“Ok people, if I blow through my first buy-in in three hands, no one tell Ftrain.”
I called.
Board came all spades and I pushed in, hoping to blow him off his hand. It woulda worked too if he didn’t have the nut flush draw with his unpaired AK. Doh.
We now add: Dawn cannot watch episodes of Dr. McDreamy while playing poker. To our list of stack protecting rules.
For the sake of change, I rebought short: $15
I then stated catching hands: JJ AQ 55…unfortunately, I had no table respect and all my reasonable raises of $2 or $3 were called and I had to fold to flops that didn’t help my hand, then my crazy raises of $6 would just be folded to and I would just make the blinds.
Frustrating.
It was in this environment that I look down to QQ.
I open the pot to $2, Sox Lover reraises me to $6. I move all-in for $8 more.
He insta calls.
Ruh roh.
He shows KK.
I am soooo sad.
Flop comes J J 2.
Turn is a 8 and I get ready to rebuy.
River: QUEEEEN!!!
“There is a God!” Hurrah!
“Why would you say there is a God on that hand?” Sox says sullenly doubling me up.
The very next hand I get QQ AGAIN.
I repeat my open raise and Sox reraises me AGAIN.
I move in.
“I have to call,” he says putting in a call with fewer chips than I.
Flop comes K T blank.
Sox doesn’t show.
“Come on! Give me a queen!”
“Yeah! Give her a queen,” he says.
Feck.
“Nevermind…I don’t want a queen.”
No queen or ace comes and I stack Sox!
Later that night in an unraised flop, the board reads something like:
8s Ts 3s.
Sox’s bet of a dollar is called around in six places.
The turn is a blank, Sox bets $3 and only F-train calls.
An offsuit Jack hits the river and Sox bets $10, F-train moves all-in and Sox INSTA calls.
“I have a flush,” he says turning over Qs7s.
F-train smiles and turns over KsTs.
Soxlover makes this face and then says “You didn’t outplay me. You outflopped me.”
I don’t know why, but I find this hysterical. And laugh for a long time. Ok…I know why.
Ron Lad also finds this funny and the very next hand he folds to his friend Carter because “I know I’ll outplay you, I just don’t know if I’ll outflop you.”
I laugh and laugh.
The conversation during the course of the night just got bawdier and bawdier – at one point Soxlover offering the opportunity to tie him up and suck out on his all day long.
I declined.
And then the table was marrying me off to Ftrain.
“She’s writing Dawn Train in her notebooks with little hearts around it.”
For his part, F-train put an end to the rumors by stating flatly:
“Don’t be ridiculous. Everyone knows I’d never marry a black woman.”
“Plus, Dawn isn’t twenty.” Alceste adds.
“I don’t know who this conversation is making fun of more…”
“I like to think of it as a twofer.”
As the night wore on I started to worry that F-train was gonna stack me with his mind again…as usual I had built up a nice stack –mostly thanks to Sox’s largesse and then went card dead for nine hours.
(Ooh…that card deadness was interrupted by a sick hand against Ari…she open raised to like $1.50 and got called in six spots, I reraise to $5 straight from the BB. She calls from UTG, but everyone else drops out. Flop comes Th 8h 7h. I check to her, she bets $10, I move all-in for $25 and she calls. The turn is 4s and the river is 3h. “Do you have a heart,” she asks turning over black kings. “No…I have three tens,” I say showing TT. I stack her and she glares at me.)
Mrs. Sox Lover stacked F-train is a lovely set over set flop of K 3 9. He had pocket nines and reraises her bet, by pushing in his stack. As he does so, he says “do you have kings?”
She says yes and he is stacked!
Alceste then stacks him with pocket eights when Ftrain tried to bluff on a raggedy flop with A9.
Then Ron Lad stacked him with pocket sixes by spiking a six on the river for a set.
But F-train makes his way back and at some point has about forty bucks in front of him, when he open raises to $10, rybka looks at his hand and says
“You want action, Train? You say you want action, I put it in.” (They are so very gay.)
Ftrain shrugs his shoulders, shakes his head and says “no not really.”
Rybka folds and so does everyone else.
Rybka rabbit hunts the flop and he would have flopped a straight to F-train’s queens.
This puts rybka on “I forgot that I’m not supposed to fold at the Crackhouse” tilt.
And then this happens:
Phantommut, who had been having a very good night (One of his early hands, he open raises to $2, Alceste reraises to $6 and he Mut calls. The flop is J 4 9 and Mut bets, Alceste raises all-in for his whole stack. Mut calls. Alceste has QQ and Mut has KJ. River? Yep. Jack. Alceste is stacked.), raises.
Ron Lad reraises to $12, rybka calls, Carter calls, Phantom reraises allin for $22 more, Ron Lad moves all-in also for about $40, rybka, who has everyone covered, thinks and thinks and then calls. Carter folds.
Flop comes babies, but with two diamonds, rybka says “give me another diamond!” He gets it on the turn: “I have the nuts!” he says.
Phantom turns over KK, Ron Lad says he had QQ and rybka shows AdKd. He is now insane stack.
Phantom rebuys, but loses that to Carter when he makes the nutflush.
But rybka takes it all away on the following hand:
The artist previously known as Angry Guy or Happy Guy, raises to $2 preflop rybka and Carter call. The flop is As Qs Ah. TAPKAAGOHG moves all-in for $28, rybka calls and SO DOES CARTER.
Turn is a 4 and rybka moves all-in for a hundred.
Carter calls and rybka says “I just got the boat.”
Carter had AK to rybka’s A4.
(Eerily, earlier in the night someone had said they thought a player had a boat, I thought they were talking about rybka and I said “dude…if you think he has a boat, bridge to sell you, I have.” Rybka replies “heeey, I could have a boat…someday.”)
Rybka starts to dissect the A4 as the Entourage boys made their way to the door, something or another about how Carter should have reraised preflop or moved in on the flop, blah blah blah…F-train and I shush him.
“Dude. Let them leave in peace…discuss hand later.”
“No, I disagree. Talking about hands is part of poker…it’s how you learn. Plus, after you lose you don’t want everyone to be all quiet feeling badly for you.” And then he said women should be playing poker, what with all the cooking, cleaning and birthin babies.
“Dude, when you lose a big hand no one wants to hear the person who won telling them what they did wrong. They know they did something wrong, you have their chips now!” Ari explained, probably still smarting from rybka chasing her set of jacks with pocket fours and somehow making a straight.
I laughed. (As for me, after I lose a big hand, I don’t want everyone to be quiet and feel badly for me, but I don’t want analysis either….it’s more like I want the person who beat me to die. So…you I’m like the great compromiser.)
“Yes! What she said.”
But it was rybkba’s night. He. Just. Couldn’t lose.
The final hand of the night, Phantom mut raises to $3, rybka says
“No…raise it up. $12 to go.”
Phantom mut says “Ok, let’s see a flop” and calls.
Flop comes J 2 7 and rybka immediately says “I’m all-in” he has a meeeeliiooooonnnn dollars.
Phantommut immediately says “sure. I call.” He has like $45 or so.
“I was fucking around and that flop hit me,” rybka says showing THE HAMMER.
Phantom turns over KJ. A four and a six come on the turn and river.
Mut is maaaddd.
“I knew you were fucking around, that’s why I called.”
“If you knew, you would have raised.”
Phantom keeps counting his chips.
“I have you covered,”
“I know,” he replies.
Rybka stacks him and the game breaks.
Oh, and how could I forget! Ari followed up her amazing steel wheel performance from a few weeks ago, WITH A FLOPPED HEART ROYAL FLUSH.
DAAAANG.
And she had a sucker (sorry Mary) betting into her the whole way.
It was a wicked game, though I was sad because I was totally card dead. We mocked Alceste for folding a gutshot on his last hand at the Crackhouse before a poker break. We mocked him harder when it hit on the river.
Tee hee. Pussy, indeed.
See y’all in AC…as per usual whoever makes a thousand dollars will be blogging the trip.
I’m not going to lie to you. I thought the Crackhouse was dead. The frigid New York Winter, plus the random life issues that crop up have lead to decreasing attendance.
And hey, maybe it is. But wow was the body twitching up a storm last night.
Once again, we had the SoxLover return for our .25/.25 NLHE game, which means a bunch of things, but the most important is that F-train spends the night conflicted about who he hates more.
“Dawn stacked me before you got here,” Sox Lover whined when F-train arrived.
As he does instinctively upon hearing that Dawn won chips, F-train booed.
And then he stopped: “Wait…you lost, though…hmm…but Dawn won…but YOU lost…but SHE won…I don’t know what to do!” and then he grabbed his head and began to sob uncontrollably.
Question? Answer.
But wait, I’m getting a little ahead of myself and no way am I skipping the details of stacking Soxlover.
Due to an email typo, the maximum buy-in for last night’s game was $25. But I felt badly for the regulars, so I committed to buying for $20 regardless.
None of the regulars, except for Phantom followed suit.
Doh.
I gave Mary $4 on my first hand after violating my two of my stack protecting rules. To wit: Don’t call raises out of position and Don’t call raises from Mary.
I flopped the magical straight flush draw and chased my way down to sad stack.
I then gave Mrs. Soxlover $8 or so when I flopped an open ender, then turned a flush draw. Chase, chase…flush.
With my last eight dollars, I raised with Le Dawn of hearts and called then violated a cardinal rule of the hand by calling a reraise from Phantom.
“Ok people, if I blow through my first buy-in in three hands, no one tell Ftrain.”
I called.
Board came all spades and I pushed in, hoping to blow him off his hand. It woulda worked too if he didn’t have the nut flush draw with his unpaired AK. Doh.
We now add: Dawn cannot watch episodes of Dr. McDreamy while playing poker. To our list of stack protecting rules.
For the sake of change, I rebought short: $15
I then stated catching hands: JJ AQ 55…unfortunately, I had no table respect and all my reasonable raises of $2 or $3 were called and I had to fold to flops that didn’t help my hand, then my crazy raises of $6 would just be folded to and I would just make the blinds.
Frustrating.
It was in this environment that I look down to QQ.
I open the pot to $2, Sox Lover reraises me to $6. I move all-in for $8 more.
He insta calls.
Ruh roh.
He shows KK.
I am soooo sad.
Flop comes J J 2.
Turn is a 8 and I get ready to rebuy.
River: QUEEEEN!!!
“There is a God!” Hurrah!
“Why would you say there is a God on that hand?” Sox says sullenly doubling me up.
The very next hand I get QQ AGAIN.
I repeat my open raise and Sox reraises me AGAIN.
I move in.
“I have to call,” he says putting in a call with fewer chips than I.
Flop comes K T blank.
Sox doesn’t show.
“Come on! Give me a queen!”
“Yeah! Give her a queen,” he says.
Feck.
“Nevermind…I don’t want a queen.”
No queen or ace comes and I stack Sox!
Later that night in an unraised flop, the board reads something like:
8s Ts 3s.
Sox’s bet of a dollar is called around in six places.
The turn is a blank, Sox bets $3 and only F-train calls.
An offsuit Jack hits the river and Sox bets $10, F-train moves all-in and Sox INSTA calls.
“I have a flush,” he says turning over Qs7s.
F-train smiles and turns over KsTs.
Soxlover makes this face and then says “You didn’t outplay me. You outflopped me.”
I don’t know why, but I find this hysterical. And laugh for a long time. Ok…I know why.
Ron Lad also finds this funny and the very next hand he folds to his friend Carter because “I know I’ll outplay you, I just don’t know if I’ll outflop you.”
I laugh and laugh.
The conversation during the course of the night just got bawdier and bawdier – at one point Soxlover offering the opportunity to tie him up and suck out on his all day long.
I declined.
And then the table was marrying me off to Ftrain.
“She’s writing Dawn Train in her notebooks with little hearts around it.”
For his part, F-train put an end to the rumors by stating flatly:
“Don’t be ridiculous. Everyone knows I’d never marry a black woman.”
“Plus, Dawn isn’t twenty.” Alceste adds.
“I don’t know who this conversation is making fun of more…”
“I like to think of it as a twofer.”
As the night wore on I started to worry that F-train was gonna stack me with his mind again…as usual I had built up a nice stack –mostly thanks to Sox’s largesse and then went card dead for nine hours.
(Ooh…that card deadness was interrupted by a sick hand against Ari…she open raised to like $1.50 and got called in six spots, I reraise to $5 straight from the BB. She calls from UTG, but everyone else drops out. Flop comes Th 8h 7h. I check to her, she bets $10, I move all-in for $25 and she calls. The turn is 4s and the river is 3h. “Do you have a heart,” she asks turning over black kings. “No…I have three tens,” I say showing TT. I stack her and she glares at me.)
Mrs. Sox Lover stacked F-train is a lovely set over set flop of K 3 9. He had pocket nines and reraises her bet, by pushing in his stack. As he does so, he says “do you have kings?”
She says yes and he is stacked!
Alceste then stacks him with pocket eights when Ftrain tried to bluff on a raggedy flop with A9.
Then Ron Lad stacked him with pocket sixes by spiking a six on the river for a set.
But F-train makes his way back and at some point has about forty bucks in front of him, when he open raises to $10, rybka looks at his hand and says
“You want action, Train? You say you want action, I put it in.” (They are so very gay.)
Ftrain shrugs his shoulders, shakes his head and says “no not really.”
Rybka folds and so does everyone else.
Rybka rabbit hunts the flop and he would have flopped a straight to F-train’s queens.
This puts rybka on “I forgot that I’m not supposed to fold at the Crackhouse” tilt.
And then this happens:
Phantommut, who had been having a very good night (One of his early hands, he open raises to $2, Alceste reraises to $6 and he Mut calls. The flop is J 4 9 and Mut bets, Alceste raises all-in for his whole stack. Mut calls. Alceste has QQ and Mut has KJ. River? Yep. Jack. Alceste is stacked.), raises.
Ron Lad reraises to $12, rybka calls, Carter calls, Phantom reraises allin for $22 more, Ron Lad moves all-in also for about $40, rybka, who has everyone covered, thinks and thinks and then calls. Carter folds.
Flop comes babies, but with two diamonds, rybka says “give me another diamond!” He gets it on the turn: “I have the nuts!” he says.
Phantom turns over KK, Ron Lad says he had QQ and rybka shows AdKd. He is now insane stack.
Phantom rebuys, but loses that to Carter when he makes the nutflush.
But rybka takes it all away on the following hand:
The artist previously known as Angry Guy or Happy Guy, raises to $2 preflop rybka and Carter call. The flop is As Qs Ah. TAPKAAGOHG moves all-in for $28, rybka calls and SO DOES CARTER.
Turn is a 4 and rybka moves all-in for a hundred.
Carter calls and rybka says “I just got the boat.”
Carter had AK to rybka’s A4.
(Eerily, earlier in the night someone had said they thought a player had a boat, I thought they were talking about rybka and I said “dude…if you think he has a boat, bridge to sell you, I have.” Rybka replies “heeey, I could have a boat…someday.”)
Rybka starts to dissect the A4 as the Entourage boys made their way to the door, something or another about how Carter should have reraised preflop or moved in on the flop, blah blah blah…F-train and I shush him.
“Dude. Let them leave in peace…discuss hand later.”
“No, I disagree. Talking about hands is part of poker…it’s how you learn. Plus, after you lose you don’t want everyone to be all quiet feeling badly for you.” And then he said women should be playing poker, what with all the cooking, cleaning and birthin babies.
“Dude, when you lose a big hand no one wants to hear the person who won telling them what they did wrong. They know they did something wrong, you have their chips now!” Ari explained, probably still smarting from rybka chasing her set of jacks with pocket fours and somehow making a straight.
I laughed. (As for me, after I lose a big hand, I don’t want everyone to be quiet and feel badly for me, but I don’t want analysis either….it’s more like I want the person who beat me to die. So…you I’m like the great compromiser.)
“Yes! What she said.”
But it was rybkba’s night. He. Just. Couldn’t lose.
The final hand of the night, Phantom mut raises to $3, rybka says
“No…raise it up. $12 to go.”
Phantom mut says “Ok, let’s see a flop” and calls.
Flop comes J 2 7 and rybka immediately says “I’m all-in” he has a meeeeliiooooonnnn dollars.
Phantommut immediately says “sure. I call.” He has like $45 or so.
“I was fucking around and that flop hit me,” rybka says showing THE HAMMER.
Phantom turns over KJ. A four and a six come on the turn and river.
Mut is maaaddd.
“I knew you were fucking around, that’s why I called.”
“If you knew, you would have raised.”
Phantom keeps counting his chips.
“I have you covered,”
“I know,” he replies.
Rybka stacks him and the game breaks.
Oh, and how could I forget! Ari followed up her amazing steel wheel performance from a few weeks ago, WITH A FLOPPED HEART ROYAL FLUSH.
DAAAANG.
And she had a sucker (sorry Mary) betting into her the whole way.
It was a wicked game, though I was sad because I was totally card dead. We mocked Alceste for folding a gutshot on his last hand at the Crackhouse before a poker break. We mocked him harder when it hit on the river.
Tee hee. Pussy, indeed.
See y’all in AC…as per usual whoever makes a thousand dollars will be blogging the trip.
posted by Dawn Summers at 11:53 AM
8 Comments:
“You didn’t outplay me. You outflopped me.”
It's true. F Train was very lucky to hit that second Ts.
"I knew you were fucking around, that’s why I called."
"If you knew, you would have raised."
I believe the phrase is "don't tap the glass".
Actually, I knew he was fucking around pre-flop. I figured he had Ace-high post flop, or worst-case a pair of sevens, ace kicker. The insta-all-in was consistent with a bubkus continuation bluff of the original bubkus bluff (which he would have been comfortable doing considering he had something like 50 times my stack) so I'm not too unhappy with my call there.
Calling down Alceste earlier in the night, now that was tres stupid.
And yes, I was mad, but only at the Universe in general. Can't blame a guy when he catches big.
BTW, our memories of cards and sequence of events are wildly divergent....
I didn't put Ari on either a straight or a flush given her penchant for playing Ax. I figured my flush was good. At least I didn't lose my whole stack to her - I had considered reraising her after the flop.
Anyway, lots of fun last night. I hope the Crackhouse lives on.
Mary
Actually, once the babies come, I'm thinking about having a family-friendly home game at my apartment.
I plan on calling it "The Crib".
On second thought....
I definitely had a lucky night. No question about that.
In fact I don't think I had AdKd. I think I had AdKh and the flop came 3 diamonds and the turn another diamond. Although the ace on the river would have been enough.
Damn it feels good to be a gangster
I think this is an excellent reason for people (like you and me) to stop fearing the big stacks... and to stop bullying the small stacks. It was quite useful reading, found some good/nice stuff in here. Thanks!
I have a Website Keep up the great work on your site :-
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
So strange. I remember playing on Wednesday. I also remember when Karol wasn't the only person posting here.
Post a Comment
<< Home