Goodbye Yellow Brick Road (Dawn)

I've never done a farewell trip to AC before, but I don't think the guest of honor is supposed to come down by himself, sleep the days away and then play by himself well into the night.
But hey, I'm no expert, so perhaps all farewell trips are like that.
I haven't been to AC in a while, my co-blogger went with her brother a couple of weeks ago, though come to think of it, nothing appeared in these here pages -- let the "where's your AC post?" campaign begin.
I have been playing a crapload of home games and local club poker these days, but it felt good to peel off a cool grand from the bankroll (figuratively, of course) and drive down for some live casino action.
After dropping F-train off at the Borgata, Mary, Alceste and I headed to the Hilton.
I ended up seated to Alceste's left and watched him get stacked in effectively two hands by the same chick.
His first hand, he bet out on a flop of K T 4, two callers. Another ten came on the turn and he bet out again, next guy folded and chick called.
He checked the blank turn, but called, when the chick moved in for about $30.
She had AT to his King.
I was like whaaa??? She called with middle pair?? Where did I put my trusty bulls eye? Oh yeah! On. Her. Forehead.

The next hand, she raises to $6 from UTG + 1, Alceste makes it $20 from late position. Dawn Alceste-folds AJ, it folds around and the chick calls.
The flop comes Ten high and Alceste bets $50. Chick calls. The turn is another rag and Alceste bets his last $55 - though he forgets the dollar chip that is holding down his cards.
The chick says "ok, I bet $56, to put him all-in." Obviously, he calls.
He has KK. Chick has AA.
Doh.
I was fairly card dead and the Le Dawns were starting to look really good to me. So it was that when I looked down to find KsTs in the BB, I called the ten dollar raise from the cutoff.
In my defense, I did add "I probably shouldn't call you," as soon as I did it. Six people saw the flop of Qs4sTh, it checked to the raiser and he bet $40, I called, as did one other guy.
Turn was a red deuce. Other guy bets out $40, raiser calls, as do I.
River is the 3s.
WHEW!
I check and other guy moves all-in for $60, raiser calls and I push in for $12 more.
They both call.
Raiser turns his hand. He has two black cards. I see the ace of spades, so for a second I get scared he had the higher flush...but no...Ace of clubs. Ouchie.
Other guys mucks and says he was bluffing.
I love the call bluff on the river! Love it!
A few hands later, I raise with the Le Dawn of Diamonds and flop the King high flush, but the pocket aces guy from above bets out at it, so I call. On the turn, I bet $113 -- enough to put him all-in, he calls with AdQc. He doesn't get there.
How much do I love the Le Dawn? A lot.
At this point, I've started doing shots of Jameson's, so I decide to call it a night.
On one of his last hands before we leave, Alceste plays this hand: And again, I note the Jameson's because I might get some of the action and dollar amounts wrong.
Flop comes A 4 K, one guy bets $20 and Alceste raises to $60, the guy calls.
Turn is an Ace, guy checks to Alceste and he bets, guy then min raises and Alceste pushes all-in.
The guy turns over pocket fours and Alceste has AQ.
He looks sickish, until the river?
Oh yes, all hail Barry Greenstein.
DQB and Alceste is stacking the chips.
He then turns to the guy and says "you played that hand perfectly," which I yell at him for.
"You can't suck out on him like that and then praise his play, duuude!"
"What? He did, though...even though I had outs."
"Yah...that was your dirtiest out though!"
Dirty outs. The wave of the future.
I proceed to call him a donkey for the rest of the trip.
We went back to the room, where we all got our own bed due to the degeneracy of F-train and Fisch.
When they returned at 6:30, Fisch proclaimed that he and F-train were even.
"Wait, f-train's been playing since 9 pm and he's even? When he texted me, he said he was up 800 dollars..."
"Oh, he is," Fisch says, "together, he and I are even."
I laugh. I sleepily beat his ass at Set, and took a nap before returning to the Hilton at 10 am.
I generally, beat the early morning Hilton game before the 1 pm tournament like a drum.
I do this because I am a better player than the vast majority of players who sit down in that game. However, on this particular morning, I decided to adopt a monkey see, monkey do strategy. Oh, I see that guy putting all his money in on second pair...meee tooo! Oh, did I lose my chips to top pair? Huh. Fancy that.
OK, but NOW I have top pair! Let's call that big reraise with it!!! Wheeee...ohh, you have a set? Hmm...so that beats my top pair and you get my chips? Yeee-Haw!
Ugh. I played so poorly, I should have gotten up and gone back to bed. But I remembered that important lesson that Alceste taught me -- hours of solid play and one donkey push later, you're up!
Ok!
I look down at Kd5d and give it a whirl. All-in for $32, I get two calls -- one from this Asian old man, that totally fucking tricked me into thinking he didn't know what he was doing, so I paid off his two pair with an underpair on all three fucking streets and a white dude with a parka - indoors. In May. Anyway, the flop comes King high and they check it. The turn is a five and Parka bets $20, Asian old man calls.
Parka bets another $20 on the river and Asian dude calls.
Hands: ME: Two pair AOM: KQ Parka: A5
The dealer pushes me the WHOLE pot.
I say NOTHING.
As I'm stacking the chips, this loser next to me, says: "she doesn't get the side pot, Asian old man does."
I glare at him and the dealer reapportions the pot.
A couple of hands later, I get aces. I hit top set on the flop and a guy with a baby ace bets enough to put me all-in. I insta-call and he says "you probably have me out kicked."
I say "yeah, my kicker is an ace."
Heh.
I basically end up down forty bucks, which after being into the table for $500, was a near miracle.
I went back to the room around 3 and found Fisch still sleeping.
"Dude! What the hell?"
"I'm tired. What are you doing back?"
"I lost at Hilton and am deciding what to do now."
"Yeah, me too...if you don't see me in ten minutes I decided to sleep."
I laughed and decided that if today was going to be "one of those days," I might as well go play short at Resorts.
Lately, Karol and I had noticed that the Resorts game was becoming a bit sharky…they had raised the buy-in minimums and were spreading 2-5 games…it was crazy. Although, my problem with Resorts had always been that the donkey to good player ratio was just too out of whack.
So, maybe this would work for me now.
Not. So. Much.
I bought in for $105 and just couldn’t hit a flop to save my life. I was down to $71 bucks when I get pocket Kings on the button.
UTG raised to $12 Guy next to him called. I moved all-in.
They both INSTA CALL.
Like: All-in. CALL CALL.
Groan.
Flop comes T 4 2.
UTG bets $100, other guy who was MONSTER stack goes all-in UTG calls for $215 more.
UTG turns over 22 and MONSTER turns over 44.
“Is there a King in that deck,” I ask meekly.
No. No there is not.
I take some satisfaction in seeing stupid idiot pocket twos guy stacked.
As I am reeling from this mess and rebuying, Fisch takes the seat to the right of MONSTER.
I am applying large doses of my anti tilt Dreamgirls soundtrack at loud volumes, but I hear a couple of players telling him the sad tale of my pocket kings…although they were expressing much more pity for the pocket twos guy than I would have.
I nurse my second buy-in, until my pocket queens hand.
Fisch is doing very well until the following two hands:
He completes the SB with 52o and the BB checks:
Flop comes 557
He checks, BB checks.
Turn is a 4, he bets BB calls.
He bets another $50 on the river and the BB calls.
She has 68.
And then, wait, may I digress for a minute?
I got yelled at by a dealer for having my ipod on the rim of the poker table – not the felt, mind you – the rail…is that normal? And then Fisch got yelled at by the same dealer for reading CardPlayer magazine at the table—not during a hand or anything, just reading it? Is this normal? Why do they have magazine racks then?
Anyway, at some point Fisch shows me this article with Eric Lindgren where it says that sometimes you should bet with marginal hands out of position to take the play away from the late position actors.
“You just know they are saying that so they can sucker people into playing with crap, so they can start making money again,” Fisch said.
Well, in that vein – as he was reading another article…and article which advocated “imagine your hand winning” as a poker strategy, Fisch looks down at 2h3h and raises to $12 from the button.
MONSTER stack reraises to $50. Fisch thinks about it for .2 seconds and calls.
Flop is Q 2 8, MONSTER bets $100, Fisch moves all-in for a little more than $200.
MONSTER shrugs his shoulders and says “I call.”
He turns over AA.
Fisch goes “I need a deuce.”
Still makes me laugh.
We left Resorts shortly thereafter and went to the TAJ…I was still down something like 70 for the day, but again, miraculous considering my play and that beat.
I felt sickish after dinner, so I left Fisch at Taj and went back to the hotel to convalesce.
I woke up refreshed at midnight and decided to find Alceste. He was at Showboat.
He evidently tricked some guy into donking off $200 on his last hand.
The guy whispers to his friend that he was going to raise blind, Alceste had pocket aces, so he limped and when the dude raised, he reraised, guy calls. And then doubles Alceste up when he pairs a jack on the flop.
I am sitting at a table with five drunk, grabby talkative dudes. I get AK, AQ, KQ and AJ in my first four freaking hands, but nothing hit – I was down $60 in my raises and called raises and pissed. Though, on one of my hands big ace hands that I folded to the rag board, one guy hit his set and bet like five bucks and had I foolishly called with Ace high, I would have hit my ace on the turn and gotten BURNED, so sanks god.
Of course, I was still down and they were sooo drunkenly annoying that I started ordering daiquiris by the fist load.
But they weren’t quite enough, so I switched to Jameson’s shots.
This is my only explanation for what happens next.
I raise to $17 with AK and the most drunken grabby guy of them all, raises A HUNDRED DOLLARS on top of that.
“Sorry sweetheart, I got it,” he slurs in my face.
I literally go to fold my hand when I hear my voice say call.
I totally look around and was like “what…who said that?”
The flop comes A Q 4.
Oh well. I move in for my last 64 dollars.
Burly Grabby Calls.
Uh oh…hope he has AJ!
Turn is a Jack.
Uh oh, hope he has Kings?
River is another four and I turn up my AK.
He shows Tens!!
Hooray!!!
I then take another sick pot off of him when I hit my flush on the river.
Alceste comes over to say he’s leaving – I figure that I shouldn’t walk back alone – it was dicey enough when I did it after dinner and now it was like three a.m. – so I tell him to wait for me.
Plus, I have another Jameson’s on the way since the waitress forgot I had switched and she brought me a daiquiri accidentally. (Seriously, thank God I don’t get drunk…)
Anyway, when she brings the Jameson’s, I have two drinks and only one cup holder.
ONE CUPHOLDER! TWO DRINKS….whatever will I do!!!
(Are you getting chills? This must be what Newton felt when the apple fell on his head!!!)
I poured the Jameson’s into the daiquiri and VOILA! I invented the Jameson’s daiquiri! And it was deeeeelicious.
Alceste and I made it back to the room by 3:30 and we were the only ones there!
“Dude! Mary has been gone since 9 AM!!! I cannot believe we are the least cracked out people on this trip.”
Mary came back at about 4:15 and I figured we might as well get late check-out.
“Sorry. We don’t have late checkout today. We’re completely full.”
Alceste asked what time checkout was.
TEN AM.
We all burst out laughing.
I texted Fisch the good news and Mary texted F-train. Apparently, his table at the Borgata also broke out into laughter.
Surprisingly by 9:30 am, we were all on the hotel room balcony ready to go.
“So how’d you do last night Fisch?”
“I bubbled in the midnight madness.”
“How about in the cash games?”
“Are there cash games in Atlantic City?”
“How about in the sit n gos?”
“Are there sit n gos in Atlantic City?”
Mary evidently killed the game at the Trop, which is why she spent 20 hours at that table, and Ftrain, though down to his last hundred dollars at one point, made his usual thousand dollars.
But there was a whole other day ahead of us.
I wanted to play the Borgata, but there was a huge tournament going on, so we couldn’t get seats.
We left Ftrain and went to play at Hilton.
I only had $200 bucks to my name and even though the 2-5 game Fisch was playing in looked juicy (he doubled up on his first hand), I figured I wasn’t funded enough for it.
But my 1-2 table did not disappoint.
I had AJ and raised in position, I got two callers.
Flop came J 7 7, two spades. First guy bets $20, I make it $120 ANOTHER DUDE calls (we’ll call him villain), first guy moves allin for a little less.
Turn is a four of clubs.
I move all-in.
Villain calls.
River is a blank and I turn over AJ – all-in dude turns over J8 and Villain mucks.
I WIN!!!
The very next hand I get pocket aces. I raise again, guy at the end reraises to $50, I bet $156 to put him all-in.
HE CALLS.
AA vs KK.
They hold up!
I am crazy huge stack – though there is a dude with like 3 grand at the table, so I’m not big stack.
I play super tight. Alceste and Fisch are playing the tourney and I’m just trying to nurse my profits till they were done.
Then I get AK UTG, I raise to $20 and Get a bunch of callers including the Villain.
Flop comes A 8 4. I bet $30. Villain minraises me.
I call.
Turn is a 4.
He bets $50. I call.
River is an 8, he bets $50, I call.
He turns over T4.
AND THEN STARTS TALKING SHIT ABOUT IT.
“I bet she had a big hand, like Kings or queens and I just cracked the shit out of em.” AND THEN HE LAUGHS.
AND KEEPS TALKING SHIT.
It was the first time I ever really needed to walk away from a table to avoid a violent incident.
Alceste was on break at the tournament and I told him that I was going to rip that guy’s face off.
The other people at the table thought I was nuts.

PARENTAL ADVISORY WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CARD PLAY IS HORRIBLE AND SHOULD NOT BE TRIED AT HOME BY ANYONE. EVER. (Actually, I heard that Punky Brewster wrote another post referencing me and how I will never make money at poker. He thinks it’s because I play poker because I like money, but to the extent that I might not make money playing poker, it’s because I play crazy when on super tilt. And we’re going to work on that…right after we punish the shit out of this asshole…now, back to our regularly scheduled post.)
When I got back to the table, I steamed raised with Kc5c.
“$12”
Villain says “$45”
I look at his stupid face and call.
Flop is 2c 2d 4h.
It checks around, turn is Jc.
Villain bets $100.
I call.
(WHAT? I was mad. And I have LE DAWN! LE DAWN NEVER LOSES!!!!)
River is a King. He checks to me and I bet $100.
“You got a two? How do you call $45 preflop with a 2? Pocket twos? Nah…HE CALLS!”
He has pocket queens.
I LAUGHED SO FUCKING HARD.
He starts whining like the little bitch that he is.
“K5? K5? Blah blah blah blah”
I look at him and say “I know it’s not T4, but I gotta play the hands I’m dealt.”
Grin.
Of course, he targets me for the rest of the game, so I mostly fold my hands because I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of getting ANY of his money back.
In one of my final hands I get aces and reraise him preflop.
“I know I have one of your outs…what you got queens?...I got one of your outs,” he but ultimately folds.
I just wanted to be like “if I had queens, I don’t need outs, you stupid moronic loser face.”
At around 6 or so, we headed back to Borgata where we were going to eat at the food court and then head home.
F-train was having none of it and threw a tantrum which included the well reasoned “if I knew you were going to eat for 20 minutes, I would have gone back to Jersey City with Alceste and then taken the forty five minute train ride back to my house.”
Or something like that.
So I ended up starving all the way back to Brooklyn before running to my mommy to get fed, you know, like the helpless baby that I am.
And in the end, altogether, we were even on the trip.